Red,Pale and Blonde
by iCrunch
Summary: Naruto slips that Gaara's gay,and keeps that Gaara fancies Neji.Naruto crushes Sakura who is oblivious and has a nack of mistaking Neji as a girl each supermarket visit. Yaoi-needs work-sucky summary.


Red, Pale and Blonde

"Go, Neji! Go, go, go!" I was shoved by the hyper blonde to the next isle of the supercenter as his blue eyes looked wildly over to the counter in the pet's section. "Watch it, Uzamaki!" I barked, hitting a shelf of paper towels. "I can't let her see me! Especially with you, she might think you're some chick!" Naruto whispered, clapping his hand over my mouth. "What the hell! Then why'd you ask me to come!" I said after I pryed his hand away. "'Cause Sasuke said this place cramped his style! Get down!" He pulled me to the floor after him as the pink haired girl he was avoiding began to walk pass our hideout. "Why won't you just ask her out already!" I said as I stood. "She looks harmless!" Naruto shook his head, "No! Lee asked her out, and she punched him forty feet down the hallway at school! And the hallway's only twenty feet long!" I stifled a laugh, "Damn." Naruto glared at me, "It's not funny, Neji!" I was about to tell him it was, as I was tapped on the shoulder. "If you're looking for the Maxi pads, ma'am, they're on the next isle." I bugged my eyes, and my face went hot as Naruto's went purple. Naruto began to mouth something along the lines of "Sack-of-Rah". _Who? _I mouthed back. "Everything ok?" I realised what he'd said as a pink haired girl walked in front of me. "Oh my, I'm so sorry! You're a guy! It was the hair! I'm sorry!" Naruto took a roll of papertowels and began to bang his head with it. "N-no, it's ok. I get that- alot." I forced a smile. I choose one day to wear a pink shirt and I'm suddenly someone's daughter. "I'm still sorry. But, are you finding everything ok?" I nodded, "Yeah." She smiled, "Good. Well, I'm over in the pet section if you need anything. Just come over, ok?" "Sure thing, " I said. She walked back to her station as Naruto dropped his weapon of self mutilation. "What was that about!" he shouted. "Nothing, I just know how to talk to girls." He huffed, "Maybe 'cause you look like one." I hit him in the back of the head. "Maybe you _should _go visit her station. Maybe you can pick up a "hot" dog." I began to snicker. "Gosh, that sucked. Just shutup, Hyuuga." "What? Come on, I tried!"

We'd gone back to Naruto's after the little market visit, and layed spread eagle on the floor, looking as the ceiling fan whirled and sent cool air down. "How about you get Lee to ask her so he'll get punched again and not you?" I suggested as Naruto paced back an fourth. "No! I want to! I want her to notice me! She didn't even LOOK at me in the store!" He flopped onto his bed, the springs creaking. "Well, " I sat up, getting dizzy from the fan. "I don't know how to help you. You're too chicken. For all you know, she probably didn't look at you 'cause she was shy and likes you back." Naruto snapped his head up, "Really?" I shrugged, " I guess, I mean, maybe you should just talk to her, become her friend." He shuffled to his knees and scooted to the edge of his bed, staring down at me, "And how exactly do you talk to a girl?" I pondered for a minute. "Ask her a question like: 'Do you know where the bathroom is?' or, talk about a class you hate like: 'Gosh, all Kakashi-Sensei does is sleep and Gai just frolics like a pixie!'." I watched as he blinked, "Is that how you failed at trying to ask Ten-Ten out?" "Totally. That's why she thinks I'm gay," I groaned. "Are you?" Naruto quizzed. "No!" I shouted. "What kind of question is that!" "Well, I don't know. I mean, you have failed _quite alot _at sking girls out. I mean, you went through TenTen,Temari,hell,even Sakura before you knew that I liked her. Maybe you should try asking Gaa-" Naruto stopped and looked at me as though he'd let a great secret out. "What?" I asked twirling a piece of hair. "So--you--didn't, er, hear me?" he stammered. I eyed him carefully as he sat there. "...No...?" I said slowly. He sighed, "That's good, 'cause Gaara'd kill me! Phew! Anyways-" "But why _would _he kill you? What'd you just say?" Naruto blinked, "That he'd kill me...?" I waved my hands, "No! No! Before that? _Why _would he kill you? What'd you say that I didn't hear?" "I can't tell you that!" Naruto said quickly. He jumped from his place at the edge of the bed, "Want some Ramen? My mom just bough some-" "Please, tell me! I won't tell a soul!" I followed him out of his room and into the small hallway. "Leave me alone about it, Neji. I promised him I wouldn't tell-" "He's gay!" I announced thinking I'd caught him. Naruto stopped as we stood in the kitchen doorway. "H-Hell no!" he shouted in protest. "Not that! Nuh-uh!" I wide smile spread across my face, "Yeah, he is! Ha, wait 'til Sasuke-" "No! Gaara isn't gay!" Naruto yelled like a child that was just told Santa wasn't real. I quirked an eyebrow, "Then what was this big secret that you promised you wouldn't tell anyone, eh?" I leaned on the doorframe as Naruto scratched the back of his head. "He, er, Gaara, he, uh-" "Yeah...?" I said. "G-Gaara...is,um,half alien...?" He looked up at me. I stopped and smacked my lips, "Well, that settles it. He's gay. Then how the hell do you know--Of all people! You have the loudest mouth in Konaha!" "I do not!" I settled at the kitchen table as Naruto rummaged through the cabinets for two bowls and his beloved Ramen. "So, does he like someone? He couldn'tve just told you out the blue. You two had to have been talking about someone." Naruto stirred the Ramen bubbling in the pot. "No...not anyone in particular," he said. "Right, and he just up and out said, "Oh, hey! I'm gay! Did you watch football last night?"," I laughed. Naruto smirked as he turned with two steming bowls of food, "Ha-Ha, funny. But seriously, I'm done talking about it, and _did _you watch football last night? Man, the Konaha Krills got _crushed _by the Sand Village Salmon!" I shook my head. I don't why he's keeping so much about thiss from me. I mean, I already know the dude's gay, what else could harm the-- "I said, can you please get the door for me?" I blinked. "Eh?" Naruto groaned, "Gosh, nevermind. Try to eat some Ramen and..." He mumbled on. I sat at the table swirling my chopstick around in the bowl of noodles, them reminding me of long, greasy worms. Naruto stumbled back in. "Um, you might wanna go," he whispered. "Why?" I said sort of shocked at the sudden throwing out. He snatched up my bowl and dumped it in the sink. "What the hell, Naruto!?" I shouted. He ran oven and put his hand over my mouth. "He's gonna hear you, idiot!" "Idiot!? Moof ch-yo han' 'fore I lick et!" I muffled beneath his hand. "What?" I licked his hand causing him to jerk it back. "You're gross! I thought sixteen year olds grew out of that!" He wiped my saliva on his shirt. "Ew, you sound like my mother. Who's here, and why can't I meet them?" "Because!" Naruto whined. "It--They might--You don't settle with them to well." I nodded, "Is that so? Well, lets me meet them and settle this. Noone should hate me--besides Hanabi, and that's because I shoved her doll in the toilet. Diff' story." I scooted my chair from the table but was pushed down by the worried looking blonde. "No!" he hissed. "Stay." I felt like I was his dog, except I lived longer than a week. "Naruto? Is everythin' alrigh' in there?" I heard a voice. I stifled a laugh, "Who's in there, Prince William?" I chuckled a bit at my own joke. "Shutup! No! It's--It's Gaara." I stopped and furrowed my brows, "No it's not." Naruto shook his head, "Yuh-huh." "Then why is talking like that?" "He went abroad in England last year with the sophmores. I guess the accent sorta stuck." "Well, this should be fun." I cleared my throat. "Come back in the kitchen!" "What!" Naruto exclaimed grip still on my shoulders. "No don--Nevermind." I heard shuffling behind us and leaned my head back, a now upside down figure standing in the doorway with red hair and sea foam eyes. "Am I interruptin' something?" He asked a bit slowly. I smiled, "Oh, no. Naruto was just helping me get a contact in. Gaara, right?" I asked. He nodded as though he weren't sure if this was some sort of trap. "Yeah, tha's right. And you're...Neji? Not to bother, but your eyes, they're contacts?" "One and only, and no, real. How do you know me? I barely seen you around school." I pushed Naruto from me, who looked dead as a doornail. "Come, sit." I slid a chair out across from me with my foot. Gaara shuffled across the tile, sitting down as though he'd practiced how. "So, how was England?" I asked leaning forward and laying my head onto the cool of the table. "How'd you know I'd gone?" he asked. "Accent." He smiled, "Oh, yeah. It sort of stuck. Annoying, eh?" I shook my head, "No, it's sort of cool. Beats talking like everyone around here. Hey, Naruto, why so quiet?" Naruto stood at the counter slurping the last of his Ramen. "Nhn," he mumbled. "What's up his ass, right" I chuckled. "So, you gotta a girlfriend? That had to be the only reason you came back to this dump." Gaara blushed. "Eh, no." He began to bite at his fingernails. "Oh. Well, I need to--" I stopped, remembering what Naruto had said about Gaara's--preferences. "I, er, need to learn when to shutup. Am I talking to much?" Gaara smiled a bit, "No. I guess you're just takin' the place of Naruto's babblin'. You are being rather quiet over there." Naruto put his bowl in the sink, "I dunno, guess my heads just somewhere else." My mind totally went into the gutter. I began to mess with my hair, pretending something was in it, to keep from laughing. _Of all the words to say. _I thought. "So, wha's there to do 'round here? I sort of forgo'en, being gone for a year and all," Gaara said. "Well, we can goto the skatepark?" I suggested. "Neji, can you even skate?" Naruto asked. "No, but Lee's there and I want to watch him try and shred the pipe." Damn the gutter. I couldn't help but chuckle slighty, hoping they'd think I was imagining the bowl cut boy falling. "No, no skatepark. There's the mall. I wanted to goto the videogame store anyway to see the new releases," Naruto grinned, me knowing of his addiction to the "Revenge of Twilight" trilogy. "Tha' sounds good. I guess I could go browse the bookstore or something." "Well, I don't too much do malls. I'll give you guys a ride though..." Fucking damn gutter! "Great!" Naruto cheered. "Let me go get my wallet though."


End file.
